kinshuk sunilit aint no, dessert if therez no caek

I continue my experiences from my previous post where I described my journey till the point where I was on-board the aircraft. Now, I shall try to pen down my thoughts through my maiden flight. I am sorry, this might turn out more like a philosophical rant.

While I was sitting in the craft, waiting for it to taxi and take off, I was very anxious. Here I was, travelling alone for the first time, unsure of how things will turn out. I had just some cash on me and a mobile phone to help me out. Just in case. I was nervous. Yadu was sick and so he wasn’t going to be around, local help was also limited. I had been warned about likely language and traffic troubles in Bangalore. I was afraid it might be a hostile city, after all, for a newbie like me. There were so many things that could go wrong in Bangalore.

Captain Hardings updated us on the status of the flight. We are on ground hold for engine start and taxi for another 20 minutes. Sorry for the delay. I whiled my time away looking at the distant airport and the nearby crafts. Soon, the plane started to taxi and the crew asked us to put on the seat belts, keep the seat straight, and brace ourselves for take off. Off all the people I could see, I was the only one following the instructions verbatim.

The plane, now, approached the runway but took a halt. A jeep was flying down the runway. It stopped a few hundred metres away. A guy stepped out and fired a green flare into the sky. Soon an international service by Air India took off. We were next. We taxied onto the runway and stopped again. The engines suddenly roared to life, the plane started running and a few moments later the nose was up, then the craft, and we had taken off.

Suddenly, blood rushed into my head; my ears went all red and hot and I couldn’t hear a thing. Three seconds and a gulp after everything was normal. I was flying and with it came a surge of confidence. All my anxiousness and nervousness was gone. Bangalore, I am on my way and you better be ready for me baby! That was what I felt – pure exhilaration and curiosity. Now before you go “Gross!” let me tell you that this was the first time I was above 20ft of land. My eyes were stuck to the window, now, taking in all possible details. I was trying to identify places and landmarks and everything else I could see down below.

And then I realised, at the speed I am travelling, I am already far past Delhi. I wished they built huge name-boards for all cities, villages, and every-possible-where so that air travellers could identify places. But alas! no help there.

Beauty, they, say is skin deep. You know, like beauty is what you see. Incorrect. Beauty is a lot more than that; lot more than what you see. Beauty is, always, felt. Its the emotion that fills you up when you see anything beautiful; the glow that you glow with. That’s beauty. I had seen many pictures and footages of aerial views but that can never equal first-hand experience.

Its a sense of grandeur that you feel – a grand scheme you are just a minuscule part of. It is, in a way, a belittling experience, sort of, simply transforms you into a small fleck of life compared to the totality. The Whole Picture. It is also a Whoasome!® experience. :P

This is my maiden journey alone; my first flight experience, and I wish I could share the sight with my family and some dear friends. I am feeling lonely like I have never felt. I have never been this lonesome, in other words. Perhaps I shall feel more lonesome at Bengaluru. Whatever.

At 3pm, I run into bad weather. Gawd! First Flight and bad weather already? I am flying over somewhere around Hyderabad. I should be. Its kinda all white outside the window. The plane is shaking slightly. Feels like its being played with by high winds. I am taking a lot of pictures with my mobile phone. I hope they turn up good.

Amidst these thought of grandeur and loneliness, and bad weather of course, taking in the beautiful sights of flying over clouds – I have approached Bengaluru. In the meanwhile, I had something to eat on-board; the prices were overkill. Hell! They got a monopoly here. Its like Leave it or Take It.

Landing was smooth; we were actually flying over the runway seconds before landing and I thought we had landed already (pretty smooth huh?) but then came the thuds and the shakes and the rumble and we had finally landed. Bengaluru International Airport. 4:20 PM IST. The temperature outside is 28.6 degree celsius. Have a pleasant day. Thank you, captain Hardings.

To be continued.

Ah Well, Lame Joke! I know. But today I received my first salary. Well its not the first, technically, because my first salary was earned somewhere in late 2004/early 2005 when Subodh shared a token from its first profits amongst its founding members. That salary was a token amount of Rs. 100 (great idea by Bhupi) and I don’t rememebr what I did of it. But, I still have the envelope preserved :D

Anyhow, Since this is my first “job” job, we shall assume this as my first salary; and me mum was proud – with twinkling eyes she commented: her son has finally grown up (how wrong she is :P). I only wish I could have earned a better amount for her, but hey! it’s a start… beware world, I am coming :P

But most of you don’t even know about my job. So, I shall take this opportunity to update you on my professional front (I never update on personal fronts :P).

On 21st May 2008, I joined OSS Cube as a Community Manager, with a decent package to start with. A lot of my Job Profile is Hush-Hush and Shhh-Shhh so you get the idea, don’t you? Figures! Well, I am looking after a number of Community-related aspects of OSS Cube. Better?

That would be all for now, I guess. Oh! By the way, I am finally migrating to Linux – just very confused about which distro to use, but the mighty tux it will be. And yes, I am writing this post while running internet from an Ubuntu Live CD (funny, I never configured my IPs and yet the net works… learn windows, learn!).

Signing Off. Take Care

Kinshuk

After a long time, I, once again share a beautiful song with you. This time it is ‘Dreaming with a Broken Heart’ by John Mayer. Do listen to it, it emotes strongly.

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

You roll out of bed and down on your knees
and for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here
Is she standing in my room?

No, she’s not
cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part

She takes you in with her crying eyes
then all at once you have to say goodbye
wondering could you stay my love
will you wake up by my side?

No, she can’t
cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hands?
Would you get them if I did?

No, you won’t
Cause you’re gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part.

Adios Amigo Mio.

"Regards",
Kinshuk

A soul stirring soft number with some really nicely played guitars and nicely sung by Enrique from his latest album “Insomniac”… Somebody’s Me… This is, after Do You Know… funny, I always like the Spanish version a lot more than the English ones even though I cant understand a single word.

You, do you remember me?
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?
Because I,
I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I’m going through hell
Thinking about you were somebody else

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breath without you, it’s lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody’s Me

How, How could we go wrong
It was so good and now it’s gone
And I pray at night that our paths will soon cross
And what we had isn’t lost
Cause you’re always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breath without you, it’s lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody’s Me

You’ll always be in my life
Even if I’m not in your life
Because you’re in my memory
You, will you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh listen please

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breath without you, it’s lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody’s Me

Also: Stay Here Tonight

Another beautiful number :)

I know it’s late in your time
And we’d been talking for hours here
You don’t have to tell me

I see that look in your eyes
And I know someone say goodbyes oh yeah
I feel it coming

And I hear you take a deep breath
And my hands are starting to sweat
I don’t want you to
I don’t want you to leave yeah

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone
stay here tonight stay here tonight
I wanna hold you in my arms show you worth that’s life oh no
I need you I need you

You crap your coat and I’m dying
But I know for years till deciding yeah
There’s nobodies moving
Time stops and everything’s quiet
I’m begging on for my life in you
You don’t even see it

And then you coming closer
And baby it’s not over
Till I hear you say till I hear you say
Goodnight oh yeah

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone
stay here tonight stay here tonight
I wanna hold you in my arms show you worth that’s life oh no
I need you I need you

Something about you saying is not
Something about you makes me feel like I’m nobody

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone
stay here tonight stay here tonight
I wanna hold you in my arms show you worth that’s life oh no
I need you I need you

Stay with me tonight I need you
Stay with me tonight I need you
Stay..(fade out)

Next Up: I have to listen to the new Backstreet Boy’s Album… sad they broke up.. Kevin left and now Backstreet Boy’s down to 4…

Yesterday,
a bomb blew somewhere,
And limbs were strewn all over the place.

Crimson Blood,
bloomed in to my dreams,
and my memories.

And from the wilderness,
came a mercy calling.

Soothing respite,
the treacherous humidity,
unspoken heat,
Not named, for fear of all consuming.

Yesterday,
a child cried.

And tears flooded down his sweet face.
All over.

Painful memories were etched,
in his young mind,
while he should have played.

Swept into his mother’s arms,
shielded from the world,
he wept.

Yesterday,
I just stood there.

Watching it all happen:
the muck, the gore, the intensity of
violence.

I saw families split, and man
dissolved into sorrow.

I saw the fire burn, resolved by
hatred.

I saw, empty eyes.
All dreams of which, were stolen.

I saw, anguished voices.
All melody of which, were rotten.

I stood there, as I saw.

Yesterday,
The World Changed.

****

Commentary:

I happened to talk to a survivor of a terrorist act that happened few years back. He was my client, I – a salesman, but we talked. And after we broke the ice and the formal relationship, he talked a lot. What he told me was something I had never experienced. But something that inspired me. Inspired a lot of questions in me. But they have been asked, already, a million times. I wouldn’t repeat them. But i’ll say this: Of all things that the world has to offer, peace is the most costly.

This poem is dedicated to all survivors – who survived, not just from the dastardly acts of terrorism, but they survived with all of their humanity. Hatred and sorrow didn’t destroy them. It takes courage to be so. All survivors are courageous heroes. They survived for they held on a second longer. And it takes greater courage to forgive one who has wronged you.

I hope, I was able to say a lot more than I ever did.