Day One: Beauty is always felt

I continue my experiences from my previous post where I described my journey till the point where I was on-board the aircraft. Now, I shall try to pen down my thoughts through my maiden flight. I am sorry, this might turn out more like a philosophical rant.

While I was sitting in the craft, waiting for it to taxi and take off, I was very anxious. Here I was, travelling alone for the first time, unsure of how things will turn out. I had just some cash on me and a mobile phone to help me out. Just in case. I was nervous. Yadu was sick and so he wasn’t going to be around, local help was also limited. I had been warned about likely language and traffic troubles in Bangalore. I was afraid it might be a hostile city, after all, for a newbie like me. There were so many things that could go wrong in Bangalore.

Captain Hardings updated us on the status of the flight. We are on ground hold for engine start and taxi for another 20 minutes. Sorry for the delay. I whiled my time away looking at the distant airport and the nearby crafts. Soon, the plane started to taxi and the crew asked us to put on the seat belts, keep the seat straight, and brace ourselves for take off. Off all the people I could see, I was the only one following the instructions verbatim.

The plane, now, approached the runway but took a halt. A jeep was flying down the runway. It stopped a few hundred metres away. A guy stepped out and fired a green flare into the sky. Soon an international service by Air India took off. We were next. We taxied onto the runway and stopped again. The engines suddenly roared to life, the plane started running and a few moments later the nose was up, then the craft, and we had taken off.

Suddenly, blood rushed into my head; my ears went all red and hot and I couldn’t hear a thing. Three seconds and a gulp after everything was normal. I was flying and with it came a surge of confidence. All my anxiousness and nervousness was gone. Bangalore, I am on my way and you better be ready for me baby! That was what I felt – pure exhilaration and curiosity. Now before you go “Gross!” let me tell you that this was the first time I was above 20ft of land. My eyes were stuck to the window, now, taking in all possible details. I was trying to identify places and landmarks and everything else I could see down below.

And then I realised, at the speed I am travelling, I am already far past Delhi. I wished they built huge name-boards for all cities, villages, and every-possible-where so that air travellers could identify places. But alas! no help there.

Beauty, they, say is skin deep. You know, like beauty is what you see. Incorrect. Beauty is a lot more than that; lot more than what you see. Beauty is, always, felt. Its the emotion that fills you up when you see anything beautiful; the glow that you glow with. That’s beauty. I had seen many pictures and footages of aerial views but that can never equal first-hand experience.

Its a sense of grandeur that you feel – a grand scheme you are just a minuscule part of. It is, in a way, a belittling experience, sort of, simply transforms you into a small fleck of life compared to the totality. The Whole Picture. It is also a Whoasome!® experience. :P

This is my maiden journey alone; my first flight experience, and I wish I could share the sight with my family and some dear friends. I am feeling lonely like I have never felt. I have never been this lonesome, in other words. Perhaps I shall feel more lonesome at Bengaluru. Whatever.

At 3pm, I run into bad weather. Gawd! First Flight and bad weather already? I am flying over somewhere around Hyderabad. I should be. Its kinda all white outside the window. The plane is shaking slightly. Feels like its being played with by high winds. I am taking a lot of pictures with my mobile phone. I hope they turn up good.

Amidst these thought of grandeur and loneliness, and bad weather of course, taking in the beautiful sights of flying over clouds – I have approached Bengaluru. In the meanwhile, I had something to eat on-board; the prices were overkill. Hell! They got a monopoly here. Its like Leave it or Take It.

Landing was smooth; we were actually flying over the runway seconds before landing and I thought we had landed already (pretty smooth huh?) but then came the thuds and the shakes and the rumble and we had finally landed. Bengaluru International Airport. 4:20 PM IST. The temperature outside is 28.6 degree celsius. Have a pleasant day. Thank you, captain Hardings.

To be continued.

Bidding Adieu

Two Years. Seven Hundred and Thirty One days. Seventeen Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Hours. Over. The End.

I, today, stand at that juncture in one’s life whence one phase ends and a new one begins. Ancient Indian System divides the life of any individual into four phases: Brahmacharya (Student phase; implies Discipline), Grihasthashrama (living in the material world), Vanprastha (Retired from responsibilities) and Sanyasa (renunciation), each lasting a period of twenty five years. A students life ought to be that of self-discipline and a guided effort towards learning – Brahmacharya. It is this phase that I cross now and enter into the material world. Soon, I’d start working. Life will be so different then.

But, before I start running the rat race I want to take a pause. Stop and pen down my thoughts here. So that when I grow older, I can always return here and remind myself how I used to be as a student. More particularly the two years that were GBO.
(more…)

Insomnia and Little Wonders

Its 3:32 AM right now. I haven’t slept for the past 74 Hours, 23 minutes and 15 seconds. By the time you finish this post, the time span would have differed. To what avail?

Insomnia, they say, is a weird thing. It’s worse. Trust me.

But I have to kill time, I have to do something. There was a time when I would try to sleep and end up staring at my room ceiling or a street lamp out of the window. Now I don’t share my room any more and it gets weirder. I can now recall every face I’ve seen during the day – known or not, whether I interacted with it or not. I can tell from their faces if they were happy or sad, had they had some quarrel, were they fed, they felt lonely, were they in familiar turf or lost, and lots more.

I can see them and talk to them. They are here, as a part of me. Strange, Isn’t it? Little Wonder, I am a cranky fellow.

Ever talked to a rickshaw driver or a rickshaw puller or a bus conductor for that matter? Anyone whose only concerns are elemental – earn enough dough to feed his family. You’d be surprised by certain revelations of life. They are not as coarse as they are assumed to be. They are not as gross, as they look like. There are perspectives to life you can learn from them.

Weird thing – perspective to life, it is. Weirder than weird. Right now I am uploading content on my website,editing few skins for my forums and blog. Tweaking stuff here and there, but in my mind plays like a loop, what a rickshaw driver had to say four days ago. Weird thing – perspective to life.

I remember Max Payne say, “When you are looking down the barrel of a gun, Time Slows Down…” Weird thing, time. The moment you want it to slow down so that you can savor every second if it, it flashes past. When it should run fast, it slows to a trickle – enjoying you wreathe and squirm in misery. Misery. Small Word. Little Wonder, time has never been a friend of mine.

The weirdest of all things is the vulgar hour and all the thoughts in my head, and I am still stuck uploading content. Weird thing.

So I take to reading blogs my friends write. The first blog I read talks about South Indian temples in northern India, and I go into a reverie about the Plurality that Mark Tully talks about in ‘India’s Unfinished Journey’. Read the Book. But I move on. I read about game development. I visit a website whose design I like: www.ideafactory.com. Strangely, looking at this website always makes me realize – I need a job. Weird thing, Job. I am only 22, going on 23.

I move on to GTA IV, then to Splinter Cell: Conviction, then to Spore – the game I am waiting for. Now I find myself on IGN, but I don’t remember when or how I reached there. But I am hungry. I should go to the Kitchen and get something to eat. But its dark, out of the scope of my monitor’s glare. I am scared of darkness. Stubbs’ out there. Maybe. Little wonder, I am hungry.

57% update complete. I recollect all conversations I have had in the day: in-person, on net, on phone. I don’t like people sucking up, only because they want to be in your good books. I see this happening in one of my friend’s blog and I always get amused. When would the world change? Little Wonder, I am changing.

04:25:29 AM. I remind myself I have to sleep. But, I think I would want to talk. Hear more than be heard. I am quiet these days. I don’t talk much. I don’t feel the need to express. I am more open to what people have to say. Hear them out. Listen to Them. Its a weird thing how people feel I care for them when I don’t. Only because I was ready to listen to whatever they had to share. I just deleted 37 mails. I receive about 117 mails on an average. That is only so because the world now uses Syndication. If I include syndication, my count crosses 500 posts a day. Weird thing. I remember a friend (I have been preaching on IT) say that she wasn’t exactly confident of my IT prowess, as she hasn’t seen any in action. Whatever that might have meant, it touched a sensitive spot. What have I achieved. Not even sleep, which is a mass product.

I should sleep more. Good Night. Sweet Dreams. Or should I say, Rise and Shine!

Its 04:43:21 AM. 75:34:43 Hrs Awake.

I Am Awake. Alan Wake. [All the Puns in the World, Intended!]

God Bless. Peace.

Somebody’s Me

A soul stirring soft number with some really nicely played guitars and nicely sung by Enrique from his latest album “Insomniac”… Somebody’s Me… This is, after Do You Know… funny, I always like the Spanish version a lot more than the English ones even though I cant understand a single word.

You, do you remember me?
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?
Because I,
I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I’m going through hell
Thinking about you were somebody else

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breath without you, it’s lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody’s Me

How, How could we go wrong
It was so good and now it’s gone
And I pray at night that our paths will soon cross
And what we had isn’t lost
Cause you’re always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breath without you, it’s lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody’s Me

You’ll always be in my life
Even if I’m not in your life
Because you’re in my memory
You, will you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh listen please

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breath without you, it’s lonely
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That Somebody’s Me

Also: Stay Here Tonight

Another beautiful number :)

I know it’s late in your time
And we’d been talking for hours here
You don’t have to tell me

I see that look in your eyes
And I know someone say goodbyes oh yeah
I feel it coming

And I hear you take a deep breath
And my hands are starting to sweat
I don’t want you to
I don’t want you to leave yeah

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone
stay here tonight stay here tonight
I wanna hold you in my arms show you worth that’s life oh no
I need you I need you

You crap your coat and I’m dying
But I know for years till deciding yeah
There’s nobodies moving
Time stops and everything’s quiet
I’m begging on for my life in you
You don’t even see it

And then you coming closer
And baby it’s not over
Till I hear you say till I hear you say
Goodnight oh yeah

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone
stay here tonight stay here tonight
I wanna hold you in my arms show you worth that’s life oh no
I need you I need you

Something about you saying is not
Something about you makes me feel like I’m nobody

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone

Stay here tonight stay here tonight
Just when you around me everything’s right oh no
Don’t leave me alone
stay here tonight stay here tonight
I wanna hold you in my arms show you worth that’s life oh no
I need you I need you

Stay with me tonight I need you
Stay with me tonight I need you
Stay..(fade out)

Next Up: I have to listen to the new Backstreet Boy’s Album… sad they broke up.. Kevin left and now Backstreet Boy’s down to 4…

Another, Yet Unnamed (Episode I)

Radio cackle. Static.

This is a most unpleasant sound I have ever heard in my life. Of this, I am sure. As I sat in that railway compartment, the train rattling and lurching to its destination, with an eerie quiet, I was subject to the very same noise again and again. And as I have stated my opinion about it, neither the circumstances nor the sound, helped improve it. And since I could do nothing else, I sat idly looking at every other face in the compartment. The train perhaps could do nothing else, just like me, and so it kept rattling towards its destination.

There was an apprehension on every face. Well, not every, but most. Anxious faces. The train was chugging on and the destination was fast approaching. The passengers, idle, swayed with the train.

Radio cackle. Again.

I have noted my opinion about this sound above, but it doesn’t hurt to state it again. I Do Not Like This Sound. But I can’t help hearing it, as the owner of the device is sitting next to me. And, now I try to shift my attention to some other thing. But I end up with the anxious faces. And it is scary. They all must have been warned about the skirmish that would ensue, just as I had been warned. But what is life but a series of such skirmishes. I would be stepping into this new battlefield for the first time. And honestly, I never hoped that I will make it to here. In fact, I wasn’t sure myself whether I wanted to be here today. But here I was! Perhaps, there was no other place more suitable for me. Maybe not.

Time has a peculiar sense, the moment it should rush to an end; it slows down to a trickle and takes infinitely long to end. Thus, I must subject you to my thoughts. For us both don’t have anything better to do. At least for the while. Or so, I presume. And so as I recount my thoughts over pages, only seconds had passed.

Radio cackle, but followed by a message this time.
“Station at approach. Clear the Train at Stop.”
The attendant, next to me, stirred to life.

Behold enemy territory. Here we come.

The PAS now boomed to life. It was now being announced to everyone on the train that only a few second’s wait is remaining. The train has almost reached the station.

“…The doors will open on the left. Please mind the gap…”

And so it decreed. Instinctively, my hands reached for my pocket where, hidden from general viewing was a map. I drew out the map with my stop marked on it. In this big maze of the modern world, you always need every possible help to reach your destination on time. Time was, indeed, the most crucial thing. And I, also, had a pride issue. I’d rather refer to a map than ask for directions.

With the announcement over the PAS, many faces tautened and came back from a reverie. These were mostly young people. And I am quite sure they felt the same like me – they were here for the first time and perhaps unsure, just like me, if they really wanted to be here. But don’t mistake their apprehension for fear – a gloomy expression. It was not a fear of dark or of death. It was an expression of the uncertainty awaiting them. But let the reader beware, every uncertainty comes bundled with adventure, and adventure, as it is said – is a flighty temptress.

The destination, now, is just a few seconds away. The few security personnel in the compartment, held their strategic positions overseeing the whole train. They had, after all, a mean job to perform. It was not easy. And even though, as they positioned themselves, the platform came into view.

Many of the passengers were already standing, all set to alight. Prepared, young people, with dreams in their eyes. This day marked a new beginning in their lives. They had just left behind, what was a big stage of their lives. They were no mere conscripts now. Most of them were veterans. I, too, was supposedly a veteran. A veteran of the worlds.

With a slight jerk the train stopped. The passengers swayed one final time and then came to rest. Inertia, how it plays with us! The door bells chimed and the doors pressed open with a slight swish. Drafts of air came in to the compartment as we all alighted. I hardly knew anyone and so I started making my way to the escalators.

This was the Vishwa Vidyalaya stop of the Delhi Metro Railway System.

I made my way to the concourse and then another escalator brought me to the exit booths, where I displayed my prepaid card; an amount of eleven rupees was deducted from the card as charges for the distance traveled and I was allowed to pass.

As I had traveled with Delhi Metro earlier too, I was pretty well acquainted with these procedures. However, no practice and no warning, nor advice could have prepared me for what came next. As I exited the station and started on my way towards the college, there was a long ling of rickshaw-pullers, each yelling energetically to attract customers and make them buy their services.

“Sahib, Where to?”
“Where to?”
“Come to me!”
“Yes, where to?”

And numerous similar cries rent the air. And then there were quibbles over queue. If any rickshaw-wallah dared to take customers out of turn, which was a common sight, the others would abuse him and curse him. Similar fate came to the rickshaw-wallah who brought his rickshaw in the way of another.

I had made up my mind not to take a rickshaw as it was sheer wastage of money and walk my way to college, but that never meant I couldn’t be intimidated by this sight. Edging along, I made my way and soon was well past the rickshaw stand. I took out the pocket map once more, looked for Shri Ram College of Commerce (SRCC), for that was my final destination. I had enrolled into the new Post Graduate Diploma in Global Business Operations, GBO for short, program at SRCC. This program was equivalent to an MBA; the diploma awarded by the University of Delhi and hence, got me all excited.

I was finally doing an MBA, that too, from SRCC – the number one college for commercial studies in whole Asia. Things never get better than this. Well, they might.

After locating the college in the map and establishing the path I should take, I set off. North Campus of the University of Delhi, or for that matter any campus or college of the university, is a unique experience in itself. This I realized in that particular walk. I had done my graduation from the Indraprastha University and only heard tales of the DU life. But today, I started living that life.

Walking with me was an assortment of young people – young boys and girls, from all wakes of life. Everything from their attitude, expressions, values, and clothing differed so much that I felt as if in a zoo of humanity. A zoo, indeed. For it was not only awe-inspiring, the magnitude, but also humorous. For westernization was at its prime display. Companies such as Nike, Adidas, Levi’s and Pepe accrued so much cost for advertising and the effect was quite evident. Every student was a living advertisement here. Of this, I have no doubt.

It took me about ten minutes to walk through that human traffic, including some vehicular traffic too, and finally reach my college. The first gate was locked. The second gate was partially open and a very intimidating fellow was sitting on a chair propped next to the gate.

“Yes?” he commanded in an official voice.
“I am a student!”
“Show your I-card!”
“I am a new student, haven’t got an I-Card made yet.”
“Then, you must have some fee slip.”
“Yes, yes. Just a second.”

And I fumbled within my pockets and my bag to find my fee slip, a proof that I had paid my fees. But it was not to be found since I had forgotten to carry it. I am awfully forgetful.

“I don’t seem to have brought it.”
“Then how come should I let you enter?” his voice was genuine, not scruff.
“Wait! I think I have a letter from the college.”

And this I did have, which I promptly showed to him. He was also satisfied of my genuinety.

“Its not that you always need your I-Card to enter, but we have to ensure it at the start of term. Part of duty!”

What he actually wanted to say was that he was sorry to bother students, but he couldn’t help it.

This was the first day so I had to be extra cautious. The university had disallowed ragging in any form, but whoever listened to rules. I was extremely worried, for owing to my personality, even an undergrad student, could rag me considering me a futcha – the DU word for a fresher.

And I didn’t know where my classes were scheduled to occur. And, I didn’t fancy asking some other student. So, I retraced my steps back and came to the gate again.

“Where do the GBO classes occur?” I asked the gateman.
“Room number 12, first floor, left wing; Take the steps on that corridor, it will take you straightaway to the GBO wing.”

He referred to the left bastion. And, I followed the instructions to every syllable.

The college building is a beautiful building. The main façade is curving in an arch shape with two bastions at both the ends. These two bastions contain two corridors in themselves while the arc has a running corridor along it. In the center of the arc is the college auditorium – a big hall, seating at least 500 people. Besides the two bastions were to blocks that looked more like annexes. The right bastion’s corridor led to the college library, though I am unsure of what was in its annex-like structure. The left bastion’s corridor included some classrooms, the campus photocopier and the way to the Computer Center, the college computer lab. The main arc included the principal’s office, the staff room and the committee room, other than some more classrooms.

Behind this main building was the college hostel’s. Next to which, was the canteen with the New Seminar Room and the Girls Common Room. It was, here, in the New Seminar Room that my orientation program for the course was held two days back. Next to the Hostel’s was the Irfan’s Tea Shop, which was a common hub for important student’s discussion. Beyond which, were the college gardens.

But don’t let the reader get confused. I didn’t know so much about the college geography the moment I set my feet in the campus; it was only after some time that I learned the whole geography, and it included some very well guided tours too.

As I entered the GBO wing, my first reaction was disappointment. It looked just like a regular class room, nothing special. Perhaps, it was wrong on my part to assume a better shape. It was just nine in the morning and expecting that students would have started trickling would have been being optimistic beyond stupidity. I was not. So I just picked a seat for myself in the class, left my bag there and walked out to the corridor and made my self comfortable on the corridor wall that was built as windows, only there were no windows.

And I consoled myself, for the view was splendid. If I had expected anything, all my
expectations were being broken quite cruelly. It was just a normal college, nothing special.

A boy started walking in the wing, and going by looks of him, I just met my first classmate.

“Excuse me! Is this the GBO classroom?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“Thank You.”

He went inside the classroom to do the necessary rituals. He was smarter; he also switched on the lights, fans and the air conditioner. These air conditioners were a new fixture, specifically for the GBO students – to give them a better ambiance. And then he preferred to walk outside and provide me some unwarranted company.

“My name is Shekhar. What is yours?”
“Rohit. Commerce background?”
“Yes. B Com (H) from Hansraj. You?”
“BBA from IP University. BBA(CAM) to be precise. It was basically a mixture of BBA and BCA.”

He nodded as if he understood too well. He didn’t look bad – a round face, with disheveled dark brown hair, a bit long though, a crooked nose, heavy features. He had thick brows and very lively eyes. If I had been a liberal, I would have called him smart. But I was not, and only god knew why, I did not want to converse with him.

What followed, hence, was a quiet. We, both, were adjusting to each others presence, but the fact was, we both would have prepared to be rather alone than in company. Sometimes, things are so very strange.

But it didn’t stay strange for long for a group of three people walked in, now – two girls and a boy. I had made acquaintances with them on the orientation day.

Aditya Gupta looked cute. Short curly hair, dark brown eyes and a constant pleasant smile bundled with his sense of humor made him quite affable.
Neha Garg was a bit tall, a round, pleasant face with a small pony bobbing behind her, a very cute smile and lively, mischievous eyes. Her whole texture was kiddish and she behaved like one too most of the time. I realized I had taken a liking for her. Just two days and a crush! Preposterous, I say.

Ranjana Singh was a heavy girl. Tall and elegant. Something about her, though, felt unreal. She had a very sweet voice and some really polished manners. The first time I had met her, I had made a mental note that I would never want to cross this girl. The opinion hadn’t changed in these two days.

This group didn’t enter the class first. We had our set of welcomes and general discussion ensued. Soon, more students trickled in.

At the proper hour for the class, the professor walked in to. I shall talk about him in greater detail later. However, I cannot stop but say that he is an expert – in making students sleep. His name is Prem Khurana. A very experienced Economics teacher; it soon became common knowledge amongst students that he has been making generations sleep at this very college.

After his very ‘happening’ class, we had a Mathematics class. I shall discuss this professor later, where he shall get ample limelight for I want to rush on to the next class, which was scheduled after a half-hour lunch.

The lunch was uneventful, mostly because I was trying to avoid any company. I don’t know why, but I just didn’t feel like mingling with strangers. Not one of my day’s maybe. But for the sake of convenience of my readers, I must confess, I am strange, very strange.

After lunch, we had the Marketing class. I was expecting an old professor, just like the other two professors to come and drone about marketing theory. But the person who came to take the class was a young man – zestful and full of energy. In his thirties, this man was smart, smartly dressed and he walked with confidence. I took a liking for him the very instant. And then I remembered that he was present at the time of the orientation.

So much, so more.

His name was Ajit Kumar. What followed was a very interesting class. We did not waste time discussing marketing theory, but we discussed practical marketing and in way we also discussed the theory. The class was very interesting and at the end of it he declared assignments.

Assignments! On the first day!

I had never heard of this concept and certainly the other students hadn’t done the same for their faces said so. And so e noted down the assignment set for us – fifteen questions on marketing history. Not tough, at least it didn’t sound so.

And thus, officially ended the first day of college.



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